I Have Been Re-Watching the Dexter Seasons

I just loved that freakin show! When it ended I was rather disappointed as I find tv shows about as interesting as porridge. Hint: I hate porridge! Canned laughter, bad lines and reality tv have made me hate cable. I dont even have cable. I watch netflix. Reality tv is about as interesting as a poke in the eye with a knife. I cannot believe the shit folks watch lol.

But good ole Dexter never let me down. The only thing I didnt like about the show was the character Rita. That woman drove me nuts! What an annoying, passive aggressive, tramp! I guess, like most folks who loved Dexter, I enjoyed the character, Dexter, the most. First off, he is quite good looking in the show. And secondly, I like his brooding ways and dry humour. Just an overall sexy man who happens to be a serial killer, but he has his code, and he only offs assholes so its all good. He is the anti-hero and the fans rooted for him. I know I did. I loved how intense he could be in the kill room but how chill he could be when people around him were losing their shit over every day stuff. A very likable fictional character, indeed!

Other characters I liked on the show? The Trinity Killer. Lets just say that John Lithgow plays an incredibly, neurotic, pyscho, with panache! I like him best in these kinds of roles. He was really good in Dexter.

I also liked Lumen. That poor woman found closure with the help of our friendly, neighbourhood, serial killer, Dexter. Dexter is a really good guy, honest. He wanted to help fix Lumen and make her whole, again by helping her get revenge on the men who did her wrong. She was strong and a fighter. Just the kind of female character I like.

And Debra. Seriously, the girl had issues with romance but she could swear like a sailor, was honest, and a straight shooter. I liked her ethics and inventive cusses.

Last but not least. Masuka. I always love pervs with a good sense of humour. He was just so damn cute! 😉

Great show and if you never watched it then give it a go. It was very good. The ending sucked ass, though. I didnt want the show to end at all. Boo!

Chirstmas is Coming for Phone Sex Perverts too!

Hey perverts!

You know I use that word affectionately. 😉

The christmas season is upon us and the day is coming soon. Luckily for you boys I dont celebrate it. Well, I do have a black Xmas tree that looks like it could be owned by Rob Zombie but thats my warped sense of goth humour coming out. I will be available over the season for phone sex fantasy calls or just to shoot the shit, so to speak. Like you, I dont do much for the holiday and its always fun to spend it with like minded peeps. So whether you are horny and need to de-stress or you are the black sheep of your family, like me, we can connect and spread a little naughty cheer to each other.

I find these kinds of special days to be tedious, at best. Cooking and hanging out with dozens of people that normally you wouldnt bother with the rest of the year is like getting a colonoscopy, right? From the annoying drunken uncle to the second cousin, with the cold, spreading his or hers germs on everyone at the table. Yuck! Yup, I am a picky germaphobe. I dont want nor need other peoples cooties. Whats fun for me is to have a horror movie marathon, on the eve before, and watch all my holiday faves. Black Christmas, Silent Night, Deadly Night and Jack Frost to name a few.  I will open a bottle of Ruby Red Absolute Vodka, roll a couple of number’s and put my feet up.

Hey, just because my night isnt as splashy as yours, dont judge. I like spending my free time doing just that. I am not like everyone else and I am pretty proud of that fact. And dont be jealous because I dont deal with all the cooking and stress of that second cousin coughing on me all day long LOL. You can choose to do the same. As a matter of fact, call and hang out with me. It will be way more fun, less stressful and you will feel free, just for once.

Tell your wife that you want to do the holiday, differently this year by having phone sex with your imaginative mistress. Wait, maybe that wouldnt go over too well LOL. Ok, maybe you should just sneak into the garage and call while everyone is yapping away upstairs stuffing their face. I am sure you wont be noticed, as missing, if you are stealthy about it. *Wink*

Happy, whatever you celebrate, this time of year!

Fantasy Phone Sex Witch

Greeting’s pervs!

I havent updated on here in a while but I have been around for calls so no whining. Love when one of you guys whines about me not blogging when you have never bothered to call. See, your whining will be recieved better when you actually put your money where your mouth is. You know, the same mouth that you fantasize is wrapped around my strap on cock. *wink*.

Having said all that this fantasy phone sex vixen does not appreciate whining. I, also, dont like it when you try to coerce me, or top from the bottom.  It makes me want to turn you into a lil toad. I am not a good witch (or is that bitch?). I am not nice when I am irked. Let me give you an example of what I find annoying. I just love (read hate) when a caller spends the whole call kissing my ass and telling me that he is my puppet but then towards the end starts whining about meeting me. His voice rises like he is about to command that I do it and when that doesnt work he decides to just whine about it, in general. Its like a little dog that has a bone clenched between its tiny fangs and it wont let it go. You know what I mean?

I love talking to you perverts but I am not into this meeting thing. This is called fantasy for a reason and to be brutally honest with you, you couldnt handle me. I am being dead serious. Not because of my sexual prowess because you wouldnt be having sex with me anyways. If you think I am a whore you are on the wrong site, dude. But I am annoying, willful, stubborn, like getting my own way, and dont take no for an answer. How many of you really want your wives to meet me? Yeah, thats what I thought.

I am not your dirty little secret, capice?

Drive me batty and I will truly find ways to turn you into a toad or a tree stump. I think some of you might like that. I would never use my super powers for good. Thats stupid. I would, however, use them to keep you in line and in awe of your witchy Mistress. Whatever better way to do that then to cast a spell to shrink your dick or turn you into something distasteful? I think I could have a lot of fun with this. What? What about your fun? LMAO Yeah, thats my main concern. I will get right on that.

Gotta jump on my broom and fly off now! Ta-ta!

Halloween Phone Sex ~ The Exorcist

If you have failed to notice one of my fave movies of all time is The Exorcist. This little gem of a horror movie was made way back in 1973 but dont think it will be boring. Its not. It has stood the test of time and is perfect for your Halloween viewing. As a matter of fact I revisited this classic flick last night, while sipping on some raspberry vodka, with my perfect feet up. Oh and lets not forget the cat in my lap. What phone sex witch, doesnt have a cat? I happen to have two but I digress. Back to the topic at hand.

The first time I saw this work of spooky art I was scared to death! I do love to be frightened, always have. I have since watched this movie about 50 times or more. What makes it so great? Well, I am glad you asked. First off, I really like demon movies that involve exorcisms and the catholic church. Pair those two subjects up and you have yourself an exquisite masterpiece. Now, keep in mind a lot of flicks with this same theme (dare I say copy cat films) have been made since The Exorcist’s release. Some have been pretty decent and others were down right stinky. I love B horror movies as much as the next horror buff but some arent very good. Its a fine line between an awesome B movie and a shitty B movie.

Now, in case you didnt know, the demon in this movie is call Pazuzu. In Babylonian mythology he was the king of the demons of the wind, and son of the god Hanbi. He is said to have the body of a man and a head of a lion or a dog, eagle-like taloned feet, two pairs of wings, a scorpion’s tail, and a serpentine penis. He is often depicted with his right hand pointing upward and left hand pointing down. This is all info you can get off wikipedia if you are interested in looking it up too. Now, in the movie the possessed girl, Regan, calls Pazuzu “Captain Howdy” and she chats with him through an oujia board in the early stages of her possession. At first her doctors think she has ADHD and then they think she has some sort of mental condition and finally when they cant figure it out they tell her mum to call a priest.

I wont go and spoil the movie for you but if you like horror movies and you like classic movies I reccomend this one. Its just pure entertainment! Turn out the lights, get a bowl of popcorn, your favourite drink and watch it. Its truly a fantastic, spooky, little gem of a flick.

Your phone sex mistress has spoken. Oh and happy belated Halloween too! Hope you all had lots of fun last night! <3

Your Phone Sex Mistress is a Vegan

I am not sure why this is such a shock and granted it doesnt come up during conversations on the phone too much but I confess I am a strict vegan. I told this to someone who shall remain nameless the other day and he was all shades of shocked. I guess a delicious phone sex mistress isnt suppose to be a vegan? He even went as far as to ask how this is possible? LOL Well, it is and its 100 percent true. I dont eat meat, eggs or dairy and I dont buy products tested on animals etc…Just because I love bossing you guys around doesnt mean I dont have a softer side, right?

I dont see what the big deal was but it was like he was so shock he was going to break up with me or something. First of all, I am not his GF or wife and second why the shock and outrage? Then he told me he liked bacon, lmao. Well, goody for him. I think I may just have thrown his ass for a loop. Then he asked me what I eat like vegans only eat lettuce. I literally have every dish anyone else has, I just dont use meat or dairy or eggs. I make a damn good tofu stroganoff with coconut milk for the cream and kosher pickles etc.. and its DElish.

So there is my rant for you today and my tidbit. I still bite…its just reserved for naughty guys just like you. You all should be happy I am so focused on that. If I ate bacon I could get lazy and then what fun would I be? Bwahahahaha! My canine teeth were made for YOU.

The Revenant: Horror Movie Review

Any of you guys seen this horror flick? I have been wanting to stick the occasional movie review in here because this site is about getting to know me better, right? Those interesting thoughts and tidbits that I may not share on other places on the big, bad, net.

If you are looking for epic movies that have won Oscar’s etc.. on here you are on the wrong site. There is the occasional movie I have watched and liked with this sort of hollywood clout but mostly I find those types of movies boring. I like deliciously weird or dark movies or just goofy comedies. Anything that isnt too mainstream.

Anyways, there is this wonderful little gem of a movie called, “The Revenant”. Its a comedy horror flick about a young man who is in the military in Iraq and during an ambush gets shot dead. Then the movie moves on to his funeral where you are introduced to his friends and his girlfriend. Well, its not a zombie movie or a vampire movie. Its kind of a cross over, if you will. Look up what a revenant is on wikipedia and read up on it.

I found this movie to be delightful. I love when movie makers get comedy and horror, together, right. Another one I found hlirious is Milo. I believe Milo and Revenant are both on netflix too so if you have netflix you can give them a try without spending too much money.

This movie, depsite its smaller budget, is well scripted, humourous and the acting is fantastic. I seriously enjoyed it and got some goog giggles out of it too. Check it out, b horror movie fans.

Strap On Phone Sex Mistress

I absolutely love strap on phone sex! I also love using my dildo cock in my personal time too. There is a knack to having strap on sex. Seriously. I have the finesse and the dexterity (plus the agressive nature) to make our domination session the fucking bomb! I wont brag about the notches in my bedpost but lets just say I have had many experiences with men who get off on having their horny asses screwed by a beautiful mistress who understands their desire to have the “tables turned”. Make no mistake, its all about turning the tables because the woman is now the one with the cock. She is the one who will be doing all the action. She is the catalyst. The motivator. That means that YOU become, in a sense, the female. There has to be this yin and yang to make it work. Its not a role many men have trouble getting into, trust me. Sometimes, a kinky guy wants to experience the other perspective. What it is like to be the one who “receives”.  It takes the emphasis off of him to perform and puts it right on me.

Dont worry, I love to be in the limelight! I am not a wall flower. I have no shyness about me and quite frankly I hate being the “second” or the lesser of the two. I want to be put on a pedestal. Its my ony real requirement.  I am your Goddess and my strap on cock is an extension of that god-like presence. Tell me its not blasphemy to have that beautiful cock in front of your face and not suck it? I do expect a really wet blow job. I dont really care that my dick is made of rubber. Not one little bit. It still deserves your reverance and undivided attention. Worship it. Suck it. Stroke it. I wont be tolerating anything but your very best. If you want to earn the pleasure of laying on your back while I get between your legs then you must suck my dildo cock! Only then will I settle myself between your legs while our eyes lock. Look into them. Deeply. What do you see? You see the most hauntingly beautiful femme fatale your eyes have ever seen! With a lick of my full lips and a darkening of my gaze I am going to push my cock head into your inviting ass. My hands will touch you everywhere but that doenst mean I am in a hurry for you to climax. Lets have a little game of cat and mouse, shall we?

Does Your Devilish Phone Sex Mistress Know?

Yes, I do. I know everything just like that old fart, santa claus lol. I know If you have been naughty (yay) or nice (boring) and what you wet dream about at night. All the really juicy stuff. Of course, having said that I am not a mind reader. If you call all you have to do is tell your phone sex mistress what it is that gets you rock hard. That shouldnt be so difficult but you guys are sometimes shy, which is kind of cute, but you dont need to be. I want to hear whats on your perverted mind and I want to know what excites you.

Tell me this? How is it some of you guys can beat off and you dont even breath heavy? I love to hear noise – moans of passion. Do you know what I mean? It excites me that there is aural evidence that you are falling deeper under my kinky spell and that you are having the time of your kinky life! I bring my A game and you should bring yours too! Now if you are just too painfully shy thats ok, I guess, but I would hope after a few titilliating conversations that you might relax a little. No, dont relax your grip on your dick! Just relax in a more comfortable way like you are talking to a senusal lover who knows your deepest thoughts and desires.

After all, if you are calling this devilish vixen then you need to know that I am just as freaky as you. I also have my own sexual fetishes. I am not here to judge but rather be your muse as you will be mine. Thats the perfect formula for a erotic phone sex call. Its give and take, guys. Give and take.

So why am I bringing this up? Recently I have noticed a few of you who are new to me saying that I am intimidating. Well, that is until we got talking and you realized that while I like to take charge I am also a fantastic (if I do say so myself) conversationalist. Also, my voice isnt rough or harsh but rather soft and feminine. I am always surprised when I hear, “you dont sound like I expected you to”. How am I suppose to sound? lol You guys tickle me.

Talk soon!

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